Miami Archives - Wandering North

North America USA

Odds & Ends

A couple of things I forgot to mention in last night’s long but hurried post:

The gun totin’ turkey shootin’ family from Ocala said Grace before dinner. They actually said Grace (Does one capitalize grace?) They held hands and everything. I don’t know if I have ever seen that outside of church camping trips as a child.

In case I haven’t been clear about this: South Beach (Lincoln Road in particular) is one of the greatest places in the world. I could honestly just sit and wander around all day looking at all of the beautiful, muscular, silicone-enhanced people rollerblading and walking impossibly tiny dogs. Then one can walk a few blocks over and hang out with thugged out guys in classic pimp attire – and some of them actually will be pimps! (Need I remind you that it was once on Washington Avenue here in South Beach that Dawn and I once met and “chilled” with the (in)famous pimp Bishop Magic Don Juan. I’m not sure that’s really something to brag about, but I like saying his name.)

The weather: So great. It is stupidly hot and humid and I am loving every second of it. It is like walking around in a warm cotton-candy soup and it would be unbearable if it were not for the salvation of the ocean breezes which easily make their way inland over and around the 3 storey, pastel, deco buildings, sitting like little confections along the sea.

Today. Slept in. Dreamed that one of my law profs (I will not say which one) was exacting physical torture sessions on his (or her) students each night. Hung out with the sister, went to the gym, ran errands. Dawn is presently writing her final exam in Calculus or Algebra or one of those frightening classes. I am going to go hang out and smoke and read tonight while she teaches her class. It will be a low key evening, as tomorrow we head to…Orlando, where I plan to stalk and get my photo taken with Belle from Beauty and the Beast, which will undoubtedly result in me trying to impress her with my knowledge of all the songs in the entire show – until Dawn punches me in the mouth and asks with irritation, “Man, why you sweatin’ Belle?!”. I can’t wait.

North America USA

Final Destination: Florida

Greetings from South Florida!
After 12 hours of travel (3 flights + layovers) i arrived at the underwhelming Fort Lauderdale airport – underwhelming that is until i saw a blonde vision in active sportswear: my sister (and her faithful companion, Giovanni). My flights, while long, where supremely relaxing. I read, completed a sunday NY times crossword and listened to Company, Sweeney Todd and My Fair Lady on the ipod.

I got in late, so Dawn just drove me to her new residence in the schmancy gated community known simply as “The Resort”, complete with 3 swimming pools, gym, hot tub, tennis courts and security guards (no need to pack heat here).

We watched “Final Destination 3” (creative, gory death scenes) and retired.
Today she was busy teaching classes, so i spent about ten hours on South Beach. “Bliss” would not be too strong a word to describe my mood as I strolled beneath the palms in the uber-humid Florida weather. I smoked three cigars over espresso and salad, went shopping and visit some old haunts, like the South Florida Art Gallery. Little changes here (I even saw some of the same colorful homeless people I recall from when I lived here – if you have to be homeless, this is the place to do it). My favorite cigar lounge has closed, but there are countless other satisfying venues in which to enjoy a double corona, so I am not too broken up about it.

As I was on my own today, I had many interesting conversations with people. One fellow, at the Hustler store sighed fondly when I said I was from Canada. “I’ve never seen snow”, he said. He told me he grew up in Fort Lauderdale and moved to Miami and has never been anywhere else. Ever.

At dinner, on Lincoln Road at World Resources (i had a fabulous Thai curry) I chatted for about an hour with a family and their friends who are 7th generation Floridians from Ocala – super rural Florida with horses and citrus farms. They had crazy fake-sounding southern drawls and told me all about how they love to go hunting for turkeys and hogs, except they pronounced it “howgs”. It seems that it takes a surprising amount of cunning and ingenuity to outsmart a turkey. I also learned all about Florida gun laws and it seems that it is quite legal to carry a gun with you at all times (except in court, at football games and in clubs), provided that said gun is in plain sight. (You can carry a concealed weapon, but you have to take a four hour course to qualify.) So if you want to drive with your 45, you have leave it in your lap, not tucked under your shirt.

Anyway, I had a fantastic day. When I come here, I can’t remember why I ever left. The beach, the weather, trees filled with coconuts and green parrots are so seductive. Like I said, it is bliss.

Now I am back at Dawn’s place and we are going to watch a horror movie about a killer ventriloquist’s dummy.
Enough rambling.
Good night.
d

North America USA

Blog! The Sequel

I cannot make any promises. Like most sequels, this Florida installment of the blog may prove to be entirely tedious compared with the original – Russia/Europe chronicles. I am, however, willing to take the risk. I enjoyed doing the “travel blog” thing and it seemed as though people enjoyed reading it, so i thought i would give it another go. Of course, this time around, I will not have Betty Lou with me to correct my numerous typing and spelling errors, so i apologize in advance for types to come.

I leave tomorrow (Tuesday) morning and fly to Florida via a ridiculous route, taking me from Vancouver to Seattle to Salt Lake City to Fort Lauderdale – 10 hours and 20 minutes in all. It was the only way i could get a flight for less than $1000.

I am very excited to see Dawn and visit the Magic Kingdom (that’s where the magic lives), swim in the ocean and smoke cigars on Lincoln Road. I’ll try to do something blog worthy, as daily entries describing the cigars i have smoked and the crossword puzzles I have done will make for some painfully dull reading.

I don’t know how often I’ll post, but check in occasionally and perhaps there will be something worth reading.
Adios, Amigos.

Tag: Miami