The Batu Caves
My second day in Kuala Lumpur, I got up early to go to the Batu Caves. Mountain caves reached by rainbow stairs like the ascent into a gay pride heaven? With mischievous monkeys? Sign me up. While it does have picture perfect rainbow stairs and cute monkeys, it is a proper Hindu shrine to Kartikeya, aka Murugan (aka a lot of other things), a Hindu warrior/scholar god (I’m sure that is an oversimplification) and inside the cave, in addition to all of the tourists, are people engaging in prayer and ritual. But whether you are pious or curious (I was the latter) it is a great place to visit.
The Batu Caves are very easily reached from Kuala Lumpur by train. You could take a tour or an uber, but that seems silly when, for a few bucks, you can be whisked there by rail.
I took the train and made two stops. I wasn’t expecting the second one, but the train stopped, and all passengers had to get off. I was only momentarily confused – until I saw the sign pointing me to the platform from which to continue my journey. At the other end, you walk out of the station and it’s just … right there.
There are some smaller temples. Very colourful and thick with depictions of various deities. There is also a huge statute of a monkey god, Hanuman.
In addition to the temples are outdoor cafes and people selling flowers and coconuts and snacks. It all feels lively.
Going in the morning was a good idea. It wasn’t too busy or too hot. The steps look like a lot of effort, but it’s not that far and lots of people are stopping to take pictures, catch their breath or fend off monkey advances.
Inside it is dark and cool and the air has plumes of incense smoke from the temples. There isn’t much else to do there. There are some art displays and birds, but really, you’re there for the temple, which is visited relatively quickly.
I had a cold coconut and trained back to Kuala Lumpur.
An afternoon wander
In the afternoon I wandered around to a lot of the same places I had the day before, had some more laksa, and stopped into a new cigar lounge, also steps from my hostel. Unlike the one the night before in the Petronas Towers, this one felt like an authentic Havana lounge. Very nice and a good selection of cigars, including some rare ones.
I took the train over to the mosque to visit it (it was closed to visitors at the time) and then went to the Museum, which was excellent.
Evening
In the evening, I had dinner with the girl I met at my hostel, the girl from Netherlands who was about the be a lawyer. We had a nice dinner after walking around the city looking for a suitable place to eat. Kuala Lumpur is busy at all hours, and I liked the liveliness. I wouldn’t say I loved Kuala Lumpur, and it didn’t excite me, but I certainly liked it. I could imagine living there for a time.
The final morning…and a weird conversation
The next day I had to leave for the airport at about 11 am, so I went for a final walk around the neighbourhood. A fellow tourist offered to take my photo in front of the Petronas Towers, which was nice, to have a picture of me that is not the usual selfie.
Back at my hostel, I sat out front with a coffee and a cigar until it was time to leave. A fellow at the next table started talking to me, asking questions about my cigar. He joined me at my table. He was in his early 30s and from a smaller city near Kuala Lumpur, but had gotten divorced and moved to the city for work, traveling back often to visit his five kids. I asked him how he liked living in Kuala Lumpur. “I love it,” he said, “there are so many MILFs.” Of all the answers he might have given me, that was not once I could have guessed. He told me he “loves Chinese MILFs” and the ones in Kuala Lumpur were the best. He showed me pictures of some of his lady friends (all attractive Chinese women in their 50s), including one who produced porn movies, he said.
It’s always interesting to talk with strangers; you never know who you will encounter. I don’t know why people feel comfortable telling me about their sexual proclivities (I swear I don’t initiate these conversations), but they do, from the guy in Colombia who told me about his first sexual experiences with a donkey to the guy in Iraq who told me about how he married the woman his parents approved of but how he has been having a years’ long affair with his true love, to the guy in Canada who told me that his sexual fetish is watching ISIS decapitation videos during sex…people just tell me things. I always say that one of the great things about travel is that it reminds me that, fundamentally, people are all the same – including that people everywhere have their sexual secrets.
I ended my conversation with ‘MILF Lover’ and headed to the airport on the train. My next and final stop on this trip would be Tokyo.
